Sigh...results tomo...if last yr, I felt a tiny amt of anxiety while waiting for result, this yr, I felt nothing. Not even a tiny minucule amt of worriedness. Dont get me wrong. It's not that I'm expecting a perfect results or something. On the contrary, I just want the damn A lvl cert. This is the main reason why I decided to repeat. The grades in the cert does not matter. I'm predicting a Triple D this time round....and most probably, I'll get it. I've always been gd at predicting my own results. I predicted my O lvl and past A lvl results accurately too. So no reason why this time round my prediction will be off. The reasons I need the cert is that I'm most probably going to sign on for police...which is my childhood dream btw. And A lvl cert will help alot. I dont deserve any thing more than a D grade anyway. I've been more slack last yr as compared to 2yrs ago... Those who knew me 2 yrs ago shld know how slack I was then...and it was nth compared to how I was last yr -_- If Faizal was busy doing his work, I am busy too...busy sleeping =x But then unlike him or most other students actually, I've no intention of going uni. Nvr wanted to go uni. Not when I was in pri sch, sec sch and definitely not JC. I guess I knew that I'll end up being a police officer someday. That's probably why I've no real motivation to work hard.
And dont tell my abt my 'future'. I started planning for my future when I was in PRI sch. Back then I was 'supposed' to go to a mid range sec sch, be one of the top students there since it's in an environment where I thrive and then proceed on to poly on a scholarship probably . But it all went wrong when I go to the sec sch which my mother chose. Out of the 6 choices, Swiss was the only sch that I didnt want to go. But I ended up there anyway. Of cos I like Swiss now and the people who I met and sat beside with. Taught me a lot which normal lessons cant. But Swiss just isnt the kind of environment I can thrive in. Since I'm a laid back type, I can hardly thrive in a pressure-type of environment. Of cos it gets worse when I'm 'forced' to go to JC. I was suppose to do 'damage-control' during my Os. I did well for my Os... in terms of planning my grades for every subject. If all had gone well, I would have a grade that would have been excellent for Poly but just failed to make it for JC( L1r5 = 21, L1r4 =13). But to my horror, I got B3 for humanities. Unbelievable. I left out 3/4 of the paper blank. I was supposed to failed it. And bcos of that I've no choice to come JC =/ I got all the grades that I planned on getting for the rest of the subjects correct. I've always been a planner. I plan way in advance. That's why I hate surprises. Although I can adapt well to changes, I still hate unexpected events. Ohh and btw, I planned to failed my first A lvl exams and retake it again in the following year. Way back when it was still sept 06. Why? Bcos of reasons which I prefer not to divulge.
When I come to JC, I had only one aim in mind...To prove to myself that JC isnt as boring as ppl make it to be. I nvr really cared abt my A lvl. So in that sense, I guess I did achieve my aim. JJ is a fun JC to be in but dont go there if you're not the type who need guidance and pushing to study.
Sometimes I find it irony that God gave me his blessing and made me the smartest person in my family and relatives. But God didnt gave me the necessary ambition to go with it. There're countless times when I wish I could just trade brains with some of my more ambitious cousins so that they can make better use of it. But it just doesnt work that way. They are always in awe with what I've accomplish in terms of education. But I always wanted to rebuke back that they're the better person bcos they dare to try, unlike me who prefer a stable environment.
If I get a cert tomo, I'll be the first person ever in my family to get the A lvl cert. And I MIGHT go to SIM in 5 yrs time when my bond with police ended...just to satisfy my mom dream of me getting a degree. Ciao
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